I'm not dead

:l

New years

Yep, happy new years. Wheeee, 2012. *Insert arbitrary apocalypse joke.*

So anyways, I don't really have much to talk about. I will return to school tomorrow, and my birthday is Friday. what a great birthday that's going to be. So maybe I should go on a rant about SOPA.

All the people that live me are probably rolling their eyes again. But this is srs business. SOPA stands for Stop Online Piracy Act. Glancing at the title, you're probably thinking, "Oh, stop pirates, let's do it! IMMA GRABBIN MAH PITCHFORK." However, it's actually quite scary. The act is actually a move by big business live Time/Warner or any other big money label to stop the common man from using their material. You're probably like, "Ooh, big deal, I can't cover 'Girl's just wanna have fun' for the seventh time. No biggie." Actually, It's much worse than that. The bill provides cause for the government to request  ISPs block the site from their customers in the following situations:
A site is distributing copyrighted material.
A site is displaying copyrighted material.
A site is hosting copyrighted material uploaded by another user.
A site is hosting a link to a site that is hosting copyrighted material.
A site is hosting audio/video that contains copyrighted material in the background.


This is huge. Millions of sites will be censored, most of them ones that you love. Youtube will almost certainly be censored, along with facebook, 4chan, memebase, tumblr, reddit, and any other site containing copyrighted material. Oh, you wanted to draw a picture of spongebob and stick it on your website? Tata.


Luckily, there is a fight.  Tumblr, Firefox, Reddit, and countless other websites/organizations are rallying together to fight SOPA. You can learn more at www.americancensorship.org

Oranges

Hehe... hehehe.....


ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T BLOG ABOUT ORANGES?


:|

Anyway, I am writing this blog to the whole one person out there who reads my blog. God bless you every one.

Anyway, I'm writing about Christmas. Keep Christ in Christmas. That's like saying keep anus in Uranus. It's not going to be a different planet because it's called Urmother or Urlipstick. And furthermore, look at these JEWS. They're not freaking out with some "keep God in hanukkah" bullcrap. They're keeping it real. +1 for the Jews. And another +1 for sounding like a refreshing breakfast beverage.


I love Jews.

Holy carp! A fish

I hate grapes. I love the flavor of them. In fact, they're probably my favorite fruit. But those little turds are the sneakiest little devils. Yeah, they're great while they're on the stem thingy, but you pull those wicked little connivers off of the cluster for one second, and they turn brown and shrivel up. Then, they're these half juicy little scumbags, and you inevitably drop one or a whole crapton of them on the floor.

And then you step on one.

I went to this Halloween thing when I was little where they peeled grapes and you thought they were eyeballs. That's kinda what stepping on one of those little gremlins is like. It squishes like some sort of demon possessed optical organ. And then there's pulped grape all over the floor, and you're like. "This is grosser than Sarah Jessica Parker." so you go to get a towel to clean it up, but you don't have any, so you have to find like some sock you really dislike (or some underwear if you're really unlucky) and mop up the pulped grape, along with the vomit you violently expelled after thinking you had dragon stomped a human eye.

I hate grapes.

And, look, he obsesses over his blog too!

So the other day, my dear sister Hannah and I were having a lovely argument over whether or not I am a hipster. She insisted I was this strange breed of hipster known as the hipster 2.0. These are cyber-nerd, obscure loving, vintage fans. Think Ryan from The Office. Of course I denied it. "I'm no foolish child hipster boy man freak god puberty thing!" I thought to myself. But then I thought about that. Doesn't denying your hipsterdom make you a hipster by default. So everyone, I'm coming out of my wardrobe. (Closets are so current).

You're dealing with a hipster.

Number one

So here's my first thought for you: what if we're skipping dimensions? I was thinking about this the other day. (I'm sure everyone who knows me is rolling their eyes.) We always represent our physical reality in three dimensions: length, width, depth. Add to that metaphysical concepts like time and velocity. But I propose we forgot one: existence. Now, you may be thinking "This man is a loon! A heretic! We should put him to death!" Hold your anus for a moment. Let me explain. See, all physical dimensions can be represented mathematically. (Technically so can metaphysical ones, but it's srs business trying to do that. )
Length is a line. Simple as that. Now, I'm not talking a grocery store checkout line, or a green citrus fruit. (Wait..) No siree, I'm talking a real life mathematical line! One that only exists in one dimension! If you have no idea what the crap I'm talking about, click here: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Line_(geometry)

So that's dimension one. The following dimension is what happens when you square the previous dimension (multiply it by itself.) Dimension two is a square, so named because its a line that is squared. Square a square and you get a cube: the third dimension. But wait. I think there's one more remember points from geometry? (If not: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_(geometry) )

Now, I propose that points are the physical representation of the first dimension: existence. This article defines points as zero dimensional, but I disagree. In order for there to be a point, it must exist. And in order to exist, there must be a point. So the zero dimension is technically non-existence. That's my thought at least. Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, or extensive mental collection of expletives. I'll still be here.

Here goes nothing....

So yep. I'm a hipster. Wheeee. I decided to be a mainstream nonconformist and create my own blog. I'm Nathan Beam, by the way, just in case you didn't know. I guess I should start off by saying thank you. I'm not sure what for, but thanks anyway. I hope you enjoy this blog as much as I enjoy food. I also hope that I don't die. Maybe I'll find the fountain of youth.